A stocked pantry and no one to cook for

First off I’d like to thank everyone for the food recommendations. Since I last wrote I’ve made hot & sour soup (excellent) and oatmeal cookie (terrible). I should mention that in general I’m trying to stick to healthier recipes from sources like Cooking Light magazine, but when I have other people to cook for I’ll expand into some more indulgent recipes.

Second, I need to take a moment to rant about something that has been present throughout my 15 month in Los Angeles but is now escalating to a truly annoying degree. There is an alarming lack of commitment among people here when it comes to making plans. Now I understand that things come up – especially in LA where you can get a call for a 6pm audition at 3pm – but if I send an email inviting a group of folks over on a Sunday evening a week or two in advance, I can rest assured that almost no one will commit to the event until a couple of days before. Are they waiting for a better offer? Are they thinking “Well, I do live in LA, and it’s possible that Benicio del Toro will want to hang out that night”?

People here complain a lot about feeling isolated in LA. That the city is more spread out and people don’t go out as much as people in Chicago. This is complete BS. Yes, LA is more spread out than Chicago. But 80% of my friends here live within 2 miles of me. People complain because they have to drive everywhere. Guess what, I have one (1) friend here who drives now but didn’t drive in Chicago.

I don’t understand why it’s so hard to be social, especially with people who are already established friends. The kicker is that when I do have people over or get a group to go to dinner or something, inevitably at the end of the evening everyone will say “It’s so great to hang out…we should do this more often.”

  • Clay

    It’s not just an LA thing, Molly. I’ve found that there are an increasingly large number of people everywhere who will refuse to commit to anything until it becomes apparent that they are not going to get a better offer.

    Myself, I actually PREFER it when someone gives me an invitation well in advance. I put it on my calendar and that time is committed to them, no matter if something else comes up for the same time. First come, first served, basically.

  • Adam875

    If you’re trying cookies I can’t recommend Martha Stewart’s cookie book highly enough. It’s the opposite of what you probably expect from Martha – totally simple and un-fussy. And the chapters are organized by texture, which is just genius.

  •  Anonymous

    I’d have hung out with you, if you’d only asked….
    – Benny del Toro

  •  Anonymous

    Your dimples are a national treasure!

  • Dave

    If you have a group of friends who are itching to “do this more often”, maybe you should do just that: a dinner club. Plan to have dinner once each month, and there’d better be a damn good reason if someone doesn’t show. And insist on a rotation where each member or member coupld either needs to host or take everybody at least somewhere, even if it’s just for decent hot dogs.

  •  the ribbon bully

    Sounds like material for a comedy routine or a sitcom:

    “New on HBO: “Molly Gagging” starring Molly Erdman with her acid wit and antacid bit! If you love the flaunting of societal conventions of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, then you’ll slap your obnoxious neighbor out of the way for “Molly Gagging” starting this summer on HBO!”

    I can see the promo poster of you choking your Sonic buddy, Brian, while in the front seat of the car.

  •  Anonymous

    Are you divorced yet?

  •  Anonymous

    While I agree this is annoying, it’s not nearly as unnerving as the ones who RSVP and then “something comes up” at the last second.

    I want to stab those people in the neck with a clothes hanger.

  • muntzter007

    Again….I’m free next Thursday.

  • Fake Celebrity Buzz

    Molly, I totally hear your LA complaint, lady. Honestly, it’s my biggest pet peeve. Sometimes I just give up and head on over to Runyan Canyon to make new friends to cook for. The benefit of having fit-crazy friends is that they’re always willing to hang out after the meal to burn off the calories! :)

  •  Anonymous


    Take the people that don’t commit to your parties at face value: they don’t commit because they don’t see you as being worthy of a commitment; to them, you’re at the bottom of the social food chain. This is not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of them, and their priorities.

    I suggest you expand your social horizons. In other words, you need new and better friends, ones that more fully appreciate you.

    I’ve also had experiences along the same lines as you’ve described. It’s an ugly feeling to see “established friends,” as you put it, respond in a lukewarm way to your heartfelt social gestures. I used to give “established friends” like this “the benefit of the doubt.” No more. Now, when I’m on the receiving end of an obvious pattern of social slights, I don’t kid myself about where I stand with the other person. Instead, I reassess the relationship and, more often than not, move on. If I do keep the relationship, I do so with eyes wide open, and lowered expectations.

    It took me a long time to learn this, with some major disappointments along the way. But that’s the way life is. I do have true blue friends that have never let me down. But they are unusual, and it takes a long time – years – to develop and prove the lasting value of those relationships.

    Best wishes.

  •  Jim T

    Some comic whose name I don’t remember transplanted from East to West Coast and commented on this as the defining difference. In NYC, if you commit to being somewhere, you better be there on time or have a good explanation later. In LA, if you want to go to a movie with somebody along, you have to ask 20 friends and hope one shows up; the rest, if pressed later, will say “I flaked!” and think that’s sufficient. Aaaggh.

    In all of humankind, there are 85 percent in Column B, who routinely promise and don’t deliver; and only the top 15 percent in Column A, whose word is gold and whose promises are unfailingly delivered on. We should all do everything we can to get into and stay in Column A. Thanks for pointing this out so colorfully. You’re sharp!

  • Rafter

    Fortunately, 57% of all statistics are made up. Hang in there Column A!

  •  Jim T

    Just generalizing about the 85/15. Google up and listen to Todd Snider’s “Statistician’s Blues” for more on the phony authority of statistical-sounding numbers. Anyway, I know Molly’s in my top 10 percent of makes-me-smile favorite actresses … or even top 5 … and rising!

  •  Anonymous

    Hey molly-

    I am seeing new Sonic commercials with a Mom and kid now. Are you still with them are are you parting ways?

  •  Anonymous

    This has nothing to do with the topic, but I uploaded a video to YouTube of Molly’s appearance on According to Jim at: