Sgary gnus

I just read a blurb on CNN.com that women who visit hair salons have a higher risk of stroke. I figured it must be something related to the chemicals used in salon, and since I don't intend to start cutting my own hair I clicked to read the full story. Turns out, it's actually tilting your head back to far in the shampoo bowl that could lead to a stroke. I mean, it's rare, the story goes on to say. Like not as common as having a stroke during a chiropractic adjustment. Which is still really rare. But the salon thing is even more rare. Ok, like, it happened to this one lady.

I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I've been feeling recently that I'm not as in touch with the news as I used to be. Stories like this make me not miss it.

Rebirth

First, thanks to everyone who leaves nice comments. I generally don't reply to them, but I do appreciate them. Or occasionally fear them. But in a flattered way.

Second, it is with great joy that I announce that Chevy is using Cameo's 1986 hit "Word Up" in one of their new commercials. Cameo, buy yourself something nice.

I don't fit the part.

Here's another post that makes me sound like an old lady, but how hard is it to find a shoe store where the salespeople actually know anything about shoes? I've been playing tennis recently - because sometimes I find that hiking and yoga just isn't L.A. enough - and found that my usual running shoes were no good for it. So I went to my local mall and visited 5 shoe stores, all of which had loud hip hop music playing and were full of what I call "vanity sneakers." Pumas, Converse, all the cool things the kids are wearing these days. And all of these stores were specifically aimed at sports shoes - Foot Locker, Champs, etc. And here's how it went down at Lady Foot Locker:

Timid Employee: Can I help you find a shoe?
Me: I'm looking for a tennis shoe. Like a shoe to actually play tennis in.
TE: Oh...I don't really know anything about tennis shoes. But I know about walking and running shoes.
Me: I don't need walking or running shoes.
TE: Oh...

So I went home and ordered some Adidas tennis shoes online. And I wore them today and they are great. So there, dummies!

In Hollywood news, last week I auditioned for a part on the sitcom "How I Met Your Mother." At this point I had figured I didn't get it, but sitting home tonight watching Access Hollywood, I found out who did. Drumroll please....Britney Spears.

Traffic & TV

Ok, you know what it is? When I am the one who pulls to the side when another car is coming, I just want the person in the other car to wave at me. Or smile. Something that acknowledges that I'm an incredibly courteous person.

Quiz: What don't I watch?
Which of the following shows has not been on my DVR at any point this week:

Top Chef
Survivor
Real World/Road Rules Challenge
Sex and the City
The Simpsons
Saturday Night Live
According to Jim
Iron Chef America
What Not to Wear
Good Eats

If you said The Simpsons, you're right. I've had multiple season passes for it on my DVR through the years, but I've come to the realization that it's not something I enjoy watching by myself. So I've allowed myself to stray from comedy nerd-dom and relieve myself of the burden.

Really? I mean seriously?

Why, in 2008, are female college students being called "co-eds"? I can understand it, relatively speaking, in the context of a Girls Gone Wild commercial, but on CNN in a story about two female college students being murdered? Yech.

Make way for melons

A lot of people think that all Gallagher does is smash melons and other food. That is simply not true. I'm too tired to tell my whole Gallagher saga (but I promise I will...or have I told it already?), but he did have this one bit about how you know who's in charge in a relationship. He said when you're about to go to sleep and you realize that bathroom light's on and you get up to turn it off, look back in the bed because that's who's in charge.

Why do I mention this bit of observational, non-melon-based comedy? Because I've noticed lately that whenever I see another car coming in the opposite direction down a residential street, I am ALWAYS the one who moves to the side so the other car can get by. I mean, literally always.

Which I guess, at least if you map it onto a classic Gallagher bit, means that everyone else is in charge. Which should be a relief, now that I think about it.