News Watch, Day 342,234

Ok, I apologize that this blog has essentially turned into a venue for me to talk about CNN.com and other news-related items, but they're supplying me with so much material it would be a shame to ignore it.

First of all, yesterday I actually saw someone wearing a CNN.com headline t-shirt. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it had something to do with the recent Bigfoot scandal.

Second, if CNN.com offered th feature where you could get one headline on the front of your shirt and another on the back, I would do so with these headlines which appear in this order on the site as of 10am PDT today:

Mom Trapped 5 Days Under Wrecked Truck

Help, I'm Turning Into My Mother

Also, clearly the second of these headlines was created in a desperate attempt to sell more of their shirts. Look for future headlines like "What Part of No Don't You Understand" and "Take Me Drunk, I'm Home!".

Give the People What They Want

Revisiting the cnn.com t-shirt headline entry, why is isn't this headline one of the ones given the t-shirt option?

'How do I say no' to the limbless?

I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

Spoiler Alert (Contains No Spoilers)

I hate the local news in LA. I think it is among the worst in the country, and I've seen lots local news in places like Lima, Ohio. Yesterday I hated it even more because not once but twice I had to go diving for my remote as they began to, without warning, give results from that day's Olympic events which had not yet aired. Now I realize I was watching ABC and the Olympics are on NBC and why would ABC want be watching another network, but really?

As of 3 minutes ago, I also hate the LA Times, at least online. As I enjoyed a bowl of Fiber One (try it, it's actually pretty good!) and visited various news sites this morning, I went to latimes.com and was alerted, through the headline and a large color photo, of the recent women's gymnastics results. Granted it must be a slow news day, since cnn.com's main story was a re-telling of how John McCain became a POW. Sorry that whole Hurricane Fay thing didn't pan out, newsfolk; looks like you're struggling a bit to find something to talk about today.

Apparently Only Attractive People Mourn

On today's Extra, introducing a story about the passing of Bernie Mac:

"From Brad Pitt to George Clooney, stars are mourning the loss of Bernie Mac."

Wow, and everyone in between? What an enormous range of mourning stars. Maybe you could mention someone not in Oceans 11-13?

For future reference, when using the "Ranging from...to..." format, a good example might be something like "Ranging from Danica Patrick to Vladimir Putin" or "Sarah Michelle Gellar to Stephen Hawking."

Sorry for the absence as I traveled about the country for a couple of weeks. I'll leave it at that so that perhaps you will picture me backpacking and hitchhiking on dusty interstates.

First of all, I must mention this Andy Rooney segment I just witnessed because A. I mentioned how I was sounding like him in a recent post and B. It's classic Rooney. He was lamenting how every food and drink product out there is flavored beyond what it needs to be (e.g. Kiwi Strawberry water). He held up some hazelnut coffee and said "Here's hazelnut flavored coffee. What's wrong with coffee flavored coffee? I guess hazelnuts cost less than coffee beans, so they're trying to save money." Aw, isn't he adorable?

Second, I'm trying to figure out some snazzy editing techniques, but in the meantime please enjoy this raw footage of my cat watching America's Funniest Videos.