Erdmania

Well well well

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 18:15:00 +0000

Overheard last week at the Coffee Bean in Studio City:

Male barista (early 20's): Good morning!
Female customer (with baby in stroller): Hi, how are you?
Barista: I'm doing well, thanks.
Customer: Oh! I love that you said "well!" You know the difference between and adjective and an adverb!
Molly (putting sugar in iced coffee): I feel sorry for your baby.

(Ok, that's an alternate ending featured in the director's cut.)

Now aside from the troubling condescension of the woman in our little vignette, this struck a nerve with me because of the whole "well vs. good" issue. Now, in the case I am 100% sure that "I'm doing well" is the proper grammatical response because he's describing how he's doing, thus requiring the adverb "well." But I have always been bothered by the response "I'm well" to the question "How are you?". Why? I've always been a stickler for grammar myself, but something about "I'm well" has always made me cringe.

In my mind, using "well" is wrong because you're using an adverb to describe an object. You wouldn't say "I'm badly" or "I'm swimmingly." I guess it works if you mean it as opposed to being sick, but that seems like the only appropriate use.

But before I go on about this anymore, I should admit that I did a little internet research and found a solid argument for "I'm well." According to some etiquette lady...

Remember that good is an adjective and well is an adverb. One exception to this rule is that you can use well as an adjective to refer to health or general well-being.

Realize that when you respond "I'm good" to the question "How are you?" you are telling the person that you are beneficial, kind, favorable or perhaps virtuous (depending on how the listener interprets your answer).

Ok. I get that. The problem is, I still hate "I'm well." And I'll continue to refuse to say it, instead saying "I'm doing well" or "Do you really care or can I just order my coffee?". But if I just held a door open for someone I'll enjoy a well-earned "I'm good."

News Watch, Day 342,234

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:58:00 +0000

Ok, I apologize that this blog has essentially turned into a venue for me to talk about CNN.com and other news-related items, but they're supplying me with so much material it would be a shame to ignore it.

First of all, yesterday I actually saw someone wearing a CNN.com headline t-shirt. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it had something to do with the recent Bigfoot scandal.

Second, if CNN.com offered th feature where you could get one headline on the front of your shirt and another on the back, I would do so with these headlines which appear in this order on the site as of 10am PDT today:

Mom Trapped 5 Days Under Wrecked Truck

Help, I'm Turning Into My Mother

Also, clearly the second of these headlines was created in a desperate attempt to sell more of their shirts. Look for future headlines like "What Part of No Don't You Understand" and "Take Me Drunk, I'm Home!".

Give the People What They Want

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:22:00 +0000

Revisiting the cnn.com t-shirt headline entry, why is isn't this headline one of the ones given the t-shirt option?

'How do I say no' to the limbless?

I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

Spoiler Alert (Contains No Spoilers)

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:32:00 +0000

I hate the local news in LA. I think it is among the worst in the country, and I've seen lots local news in places like Lima, Ohio. Yesterday I hated it even more because not once but twice I had to go diving for my remote as they began to, without warning, give results from that day's Olympic events which had not yet aired. Now I realize I was watching ABC and the Olympics are on NBC and why would ABC want be watching another network, but really?

As of 3 minutes ago, I also hate the LA Times, at least online. As I enjoyed a bowl of Fiber One (try it, it's actually pretty good!) and visited various news sites this morning, I went to latimes.com and was alerted, through the headline and a large color photo, of the recent women's gymnastics results. Granted it must be a slow news day, since cnn.com's main story was a re-telling of how John McCain became a POW. Sorry that whole Hurricane Fay thing didn't pan out, newsfolk; looks like you're struggling a bit to find something to talk about today.

Apparently Only Attractive People Mourn

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:06:00 +0000

On today's Extra, introducing a story about the passing of Bernie Mac:

"From Brad Pitt to George Clooney, stars are mourning the loss of Bernie Mac."

Wow, and everyone in between? What an enormous range of mourning stars. Maybe you could mention someone not in Oceans 11-13?

For future reference, when using the "Ranging from...to..." format, a good example might be something like "Ranging from Danica Patrick to Vladimir Putin" or "Sarah Michelle Gellar to Stephen Hawking."

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 02:56:00 +0000

Sorry for the absence as I traveled about the country for a couple of weeks. I'll leave it at that so that perhaps you will picture me backpacking and hitchhiking on dusty interstates.

First of all, I must mention this Andy Rooney segment I just witnessed because A. I mentioned how I was sounding like him in a recent post and B. It's classic Rooney. He was lamenting how every food and drink product out there is flavored beyond what it needs to be (e.g. Kiwi Strawberry water). He held up some hazelnut coffee and said "Here's hazelnut flavored coffee. What's wrong with coffee flavored coffee? I guess hazelnuts cost less than coffee beans, so they're trying to save money." Aw, isn't he adorable?

Second, I'm trying to figure out some snazzy editing techniques, but in the meantime please enjoy this raw footage of my cat watching America's Funniest Videos.

CNN.comedy!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:28:00 +0000

I'd like to thank CNN.com for offering up a surprising amount of comedy this week. This time, however, it comes from me reading this and, in my just-out-of-bed brain, confusing Jeffrey Wright, the actor in the story, with Geoffrey Rush, the actor in "Shine," among other things.

I think Geoffrey Rush would have made a great Colin Powell, don't you?

(Take This) Shirt Off My Back

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:06:00 +0000

CNN.com has a feature (which I assume is relatively new) where you can order t-shirts featuring some of the headlines on the front page. Just like some of their headlines have a video camera icon next to them, meaning you can watch video of the story, some of them have adorable t-shirt icons next to them, meaning you can order a t-shirt of that headline. Today, for instance, you can order one of the following hilarious headlines (watch out, Jay Leno!):

Soccer Dad Obama Gets Swatted By Wife
Ranch Salad Dressing Floods Basements
Towns Blast Fireworks From Budgets

Ok, the first one deals with Obama, an always-hip t-shirt reference, plus it hints at the wacky relationship he and his wife have (fist-bumping? Swatting? When will it end?!).

The second is certainly the most viable t-shirt slogan of the bunch, but really, who cares?

The third one has a classic news play on words that everyone seems to love to much, but is otherwise so stupid I don't even know what to say. No, what? Otherwise so stupid? It's stupid due in large part to the play on words.

So how does CNN.com decide which headlines to make into t-shirts? Why can't I choose any headline on the page (I just realized I think this entire posting will be very entertaining if you imagine Andy Rooney saying it all). How about these currently posted stories:

Dead Vermont Girl's Uncle Faces Kidnap Charges
Woman Kills Self to Avoid Nursing Home
Student Tortured, Stabbed to Death, Report Says

Now those are some t-shirts! I'll wear anything with "report says" on it!

Mini me

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:32:00 +0000

Thanks to left of the pyle for discovering this.

I knew that there was a Molly "pack member" after seeing her on a bag from Sonic, but I had no idea that she and I share so many traits: I'm always on the lookout for adventure, I tell the best stories, and sometimes I like to sit at home and read to a tater tot.

The evils of technology

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:58:00 +0000

Recently there have been some commercials for Bank of America that feature a voice that sounds like Kiefer Sutherland. My initial reaction to hearing them was that it was him, but then as I kept listening it started to sound less like him and more like someone very good at sounding like him. So every time I see this commercial, I consider going online to find out once and for all if it's Kiefer Sutherland or not. But I didn't, because in my mind there was something fun and intriguing about it remaining a mystery in a day when just about any mystery (at least mundane ones like this) can be solved with a couple of keystrokes.

But 5 minutes ago I gave in. I googled "Bank of America Kiefer Sutherland" and was sure that a dozen sites featuring intense debate over whether it was really him would pop up. There would be conspiracy theories about celebrity voice impersonators being the hot new advertising tool. Alas, all I found were listings over dozens of sites that immediate confirmed that Kiefer Sutherland is, in fact, the new voice of Bank of America.

Mystery solved. Fun over.

Celebrity calls pt. 2

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 21:05:00 +0000

Today Ed Asner called with a similar message. Let's see all you smarty pants (pantses?) make puns out of his last name!

Celebrity calls

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:43:00 +0000

You guys, Sandra Oh from Grey's Anatomy just called me. At first I assumed she was calling to discuss the fact that I called her character an insult to women. Or maybe she'd seen my commercials and just wanted to say how much she liked them. But instead, in a very rehearsed voice (she is, after all, an actress), she urged me to vote no on the AFTRA prime-time television contract. I guess even big stars value my opinion - after all, I've been a SAG/AFTRA member for over three years!

When she was done with her spiel - during which she never let me ask a question or even interject an "mm-hm" - I thanked her for calling and said that I thought she was great in Sideways, and you know what she did? She hung up on me. I guess she was pretty mad about my Grey's review after all.

Short and boring!

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:00:00 +0000

I don't have anything major to report, but it's been awhile and I feel like I'm neglecting my duties here. So...how about the tomato salmonella outbreak, huh?

I had three celebrity encounters this week: doing Armando at iO with Drew Carey, sitting on a couch while Andy Samberg ate middle eastern food at the kitchen counter, and seeing Adrien Grenier at a neighborhood restaurant. Hollywood!

So, it looks like Killer (the Hillary video/scene) has finally met its expiration date. It was a good run - one that lasted much longer than anyone expected to, I think. Thanks for all the kind words about the video.

Pass/Fail

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Wed, 28 May 2008 01:15:00 +0000

Every email I've sent to a hotmail address in the past 20 minutes has "failed permanently."

Hotmail is bad.

In other news, I am now in proud possession of two brand spankin' new California license plates, as well as a temporary CA driver's license. I had to take the written test, and it was much harder than I thought it would be. Like, I assumed I failed. But I didn't! It made me realize how long it's been since I've taken any kind of test...probably since I moved to Illinois and had to do the written test there. It's amazing how quickly my hopeless test-taking habits returned to me, like skipping a question and coming back to it, as if I will suddenly have clarity as to whether I have to notify the DMV within 5 days of painting my car a different color. (Answer: I don't know! I didn't get the test back so I don't know if I got that one right. I guess I'll find out when my car gets painted by members of Electric Mayhem so I can escape the evil clutches of Doc Hopper.)

The video. Here.

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Sun, 25 May 2008 19:51:00 +0000

Oh Hillary, I can't thank you enough for not only keeping this video topical, but actually putting within the realm of actual realism...

TV, you've done it again

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Sat, 24 May 2008 00:16:00 +0000

***Grey's Anatomy Season Finale SPOILER ALERT***

I enjoy Grey's Anatomy. It's a guilty pleasure. Actually, it started as a guilty pleasure when I first bought it from itunes. Then I discovered that is was, I believe, a legitimately good show. Now it's back to being a guilty pleasure because it has gotten g.d. ridiculous.

First problem, Meredith Grey, the title character. She may be one of the most unlikeable protagonists of any show ever. She's whiny, emotionally retarded, and just mean. Recently she decided to go to the hospital's therapist, but acts like every time she's there is some kind of court-ordered appointment that got her out of jail 6 months early. She either says nothing, or argues that nothing is wrong with her. Because a lot of times what happens is that the door to a therapist's office is marked "Women" and has a picture of a skirt-clad woman with one leg. So maybe Meredith doesn't mean to end up in the therapist's office. Repeatedly.

Ok, but the reason I'm writing this is specifically about the season finale. You know, the one where the boy trapped in "tons" (according to one of the doctors) is brought into the hospital on a standard gurney by 2 firefighters, and because he jumped into wet concrete to impress a girl who then ends up denying that she likes him, Dr. Torres realizes that she has the lesbian hots for Dr. Hahn (who I can't look at without thinking of her saying "I've got your dog mister!").

Alex, who is in love (?) with his ferry-boat disaster patient with a new face, continues to deny that this woman needs professional psychological help, despite the fact that she had a hysterical pregnancy, won't eat, sits motionless in the shower, slit her wrists with a butcher knife, and as she so eloquently put it while sitting on the couch as a movie played on the TV tears rolled down her cheeks, "I think I wet my pants." And why is Alex so intent on taking care of her himself? Because HE'S DONE IT BEFORE!!!!!!! (His emphasis) His mom was crazy and when he was a kid he took care of her. So if only he could help New Face Lady then it would make up for whatever vague thing happened to his mom and then he would be able to have normal relationships with women and yay!

Cristina Yang is still sad because her ex-fiance Preston Burke got some award and she had helped him with a lot of his surgeries when he was hiding his shaky hands and just couldn't stop using the word "faggot." Yang is super-driven and lacks social skills and is mean and robotic and generally an insult to ambitious, smart women.

Izzie Stevens is bored because there's no dying patient to be in love with.

Dr. Bailey is "trying the see the big picture" and knows a lot about Star Wars. She loves monologues.

And what about Derek and Meredith? We know from the countless "scoops" from Entertainment Weekly and Inside Hollywood Access Tonight that they're going to get back together. But how? I mean, after the 12th patient from their inject-virus-into-brain-tumor clinical trial dies (oh, but only after they successfully orchestrated the patient and another clinical trial patient having sex for the first - and last - time), and Meredith convinces the final patient (hours before their midnight deadline) to go through with the surgery, Derek is really, totally mad at her. But then they perform this consistently fatal surgery on the last girl and she lives! And Meredith and Derek run around Seattle looking for each other to celebrate. "Derek?" "Meredith?" "Where are you?" "I'm at your house, I wonder if you're at mine. Let's switch where we're looking and just miss each other!" "Aren't you glad we never bothered to charge our cell phones last night?" Or maybe Meredith left hers at home in the hubbub of cleaning up the blood from New Face's suicide attempt, just like after her mom tried to kill herself, which we conveniently learned about in that day's therapy session. Also, she cleaned up the blood with a sponge. That's weird, right?

And then, Derek finds Meredith on his land - which he was prepared to sell in an effort to rid his life of all things Meredith (except working with her 70 hours a week) - where she has painstakingly set out about 200 glass jars with candles in the blueprint of the house he told her he wanted to build for them last season or whenever. Now that I think about it, when she was running around looking for him before, she was carrying a dozen Pier 1 shopping bags. So they find each other, they kiss, but Derek, being so totally McDreamy, says he has to go because he has to go break up with his nurse girlfriend Rose so that his conscience is clear. Aw! He's so noble. McNoble.

I can't wait for the next season to start.

This just in

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Mon, 19 May 2008 03:31:00 +0000

News teaser from Thursday night:

"The gay marriage debate could affect your commute!"

LA just out-LA'd itself.

Just in time...

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Fri, 16 May 2008 18:05:00 +0000

With days of topicality left ahead, here's the filmed version of the scene "Killer" from my last Second City show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2x4Cd7ziu0

Technical Foul

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Fri, 09 May 2008 22:26:00 +0000

There is a commercial running right now for a digital camera that has the ground-breaking technology to let you know when someone in the picture you've just taken has their eyes closed. After you take the picture, a caption come across the screen saying "One or more subjects may have closed their eyes." That's right, it says that over the picture, where most likely it is clearly evident that someone has their eyes closed, that someone has their eyes closed. Maybe. Thank you for that worthless bit of technology.

Why ya buggin'

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:41:00 +0000

It's been hot here in LA the past few days. And with the heat has come more bugs than I'd previously seen here. Growing up in Dallas, I became fairly used to large cockroaches, to the point where I could kill them and not be too freaked out by it. But the other night I got home and saw a Texas-sized roach outside my apartment and for the next hour felt like bugs were crawling all over me. Oh, I know what you're thinking, and I wasn't on Meth at the time.

Last night I left my apartment and saw the fattest caterpillar I'd ever seen, on the same wall where the roach had been (again, thankfully outside). When I got home a few hours later, it had migrated a fair distance, and this morning I saw it down by my neighbor's window. I was actually relieved to see it again this morning, because the only thing worse than seeing the same bug (or whatever a caterpillar is) over and over is to not see it and wonder where it is now. Like in my bathtub or something.

I know, I know, caterpillars are cute and they become butterflies and blah blah, but this one just didn't have the appeal. Ok?

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:39:00 +0000

Well, from a comedic standpoint, I have to be happy that Hillary's still in this thing. Last week my former Second City castmate Brian Gallivan and I went to Chicago and filmed out scene "Killer" from the last show - the one where I play Hillary and he plays a reluctant assassin. The final edit is supposed to be done in the next week or so, and I'm glad that it will still be relevant then.

This week I'm traveling for some shows that Second City and the Economist magazine have teamed up to do. It's a cast of 5 of us - all SC alums now living in LA, and it's been a lot of fun. We were in Atlanta for the first show and now we're in Raleigh. We're doing three scenes from my last show (including Killer and my Al Gore song), so that's been a nice nostalgia trip. The other part of the show, which is called "The Art of Political Satire," is this guy who goes by the name of Kal and is a political cartoonist for the Economist. He's very nice and looks like Mark Twain. During the show he does a segment where he does some political caricatures and even teaches the audience how to draw President Bush. We'll do another show in San Francisco at the end of June.

Killing time

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 15:14:00 +0000

I love my shower radio. Why? Because it allows me to hear important news stories in the morning, the most important of which might be Los Angeles' current 48-hour homicide moratorium. That's right. In honor of the 40th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, residents of the greater Los Angeles area are being asked not to kill anyone.

I believe it was one of Dr. King's finest speeches in which he proclaimed, "Consider not murdering anyone in two day chunks - it makes it less overwhelming."

The news story ended with this: "The homicide moratorium expires at 10:01pm tomorrow night."

And then, back to murdering!

Bringing you up to date

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:36:00 +0000

It's come to my attention that a lot of people have just recently come across my blog. I understand that those of you new Erdmaniacs may not be up for reading 3+ years of blog entries, so here's a quick rundown and hopefully answers to some FAQ's.

I started this blog in 2005 when I lived in Chicago and was preparing to embark on a 4-month cruise with The Second City. That was also around the time I began shooting Sonic commercials. Since then, I performed on The Second City Mainstage in Chicago for 2 1/2 years, after which I moved to Los Angeles. Hm, I guess that's really all there is to tell you. Except for one other thing, which is that this blog was initially started to keep my family and friends updated on what I was up to when I was on the cruise and communication was difficult. My parents continue to read this blog, so just keep that in mind should you choose to leave any, er, colorful comments.

Thanks for reading. And I do appreciate all the comments, even if I rarely respond to them.

Pearl of Wisdom

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 07:14:00 +0000

Jewelry. It's pronounced jewel-ry. Just like it's spelled. Not jew-lery. Unless of course you're talking about nuculear jewlery.

Sgary gnus

noreply@blogger.com (Molly Erdman) — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 18:08:00 +0000

I just read a blurb on CNN.com that women who visit hair salons have a higher risk of stroke. I figured it must be something related to the chemicals used in salon, and since I don't intend to start cutting my own hair I clicked to read the full story. Turns out, it's actually tilting your head back to far in the shampoo bowl that could lead to a stroke. I mean, it's rare, the story goes on to say. Like not as common as having a stroke during a chiropractic adjustment. Which is still really rare. But the salon thing is even more rare. Ok, like, it happened to this one lady.

I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I've been feeling recently that I'm not as in touch with the news as I used to be. Stories like this make me not miss it.