Not to get all Andy Rooney on you, but why is it so challenging for people to RSVP for things? If you don’t RSVP for something upon receipt of an invitation, I am forced to believe one of three things:

1. You are waiting on tentative plans that would conflict with the party. (Acceptable)

2. You are waiting to check with your spouse/loved one/rent-a-date to see if they are available. (Acceptable for one day)

3. You are waiting to see if something better comes up. (Unacceptable you jag)

But whatever your reason, there’s no excuse not to RSVP by the deadline given on the invitation. Do I really have to hunt you down? It’s not like I’m trying to collect back taxes from you or serve you with a subpoena. I’m throwing a party and inviting you! That’s a nice thing. Sheesh.

Molly’s LA Party Planning Tips:

*Invite twice the number of people that you want to attend, knowing that 75% will say they are coming but a third of those people will “catch that thing that’s going around” or “suddenly have to work” seconds before the party. You will find this out from a text message at some point during your party.

*Make or buy half the amount of food you would expect your number of attendees (based on equation above) to eat. The exception to this is Coke Zero, which will be pillaged from the back recesses of your fridge if you don’t set out enough.

*Set your start time 90 minutes ahead of when you actually would like guests to start arriving. And despite the fact that you have given people your address and apartment number, expect phone calls and texts requesting reiteration of this information throughout the first two hours of your party.

I had previously thought that it wasn’t just an LA thing and that society in general has lost touch with party etiquette. Then last week I was in Dallas for my sister’s wedding shower, which I helped plan. It started at 2:00. At 1:57 guests started arriving. At 2:03 a guest arrived and apologized for being late.

Okay, that’s enough of being an old fart for one day. Happy holidays!

  • adam807

    It’s a New York thing too.

    And can we add to that list, “Check your spam folder regularly?” I don’t even know how to invite people to things anymore. I know people don’t like Evite because it doesn’t show the party info in the e-mail itself, and it gets sent to spam a lot. I hate Facebook invitations because most people I know get so many invitations to friends’ shows they don’t want to see that they just ignore everything. I tried a new online service that I loved but some people thought was spam because they’d never heard of it. And as for good old paper, I’ve been invited to two weddings this year that I never received the invitations to, so I no longer trust that.

  • mcm

    SF, too. When we had our housewarming party, someone informed me that, because she’d be moving out of the Bay Area soon, she was hoping to do lots of weekend trips to area sights… but if nothing materialized for her on that front, sure, she’d come to our party (I resisted the urge to tell her not to worry about it). Someone else responded to a polite e-mail follow-up with, “I know I already RSVPd Yes.” (I’m looking at the evite right now… no, you didn’t.) Those were just the most egregious.

    Does it mean something, though, that only Tufts students from the mid-‘90s seem to have this problem, based on the comment history?…

  • Charlie Hills

    Well, Molly, if you ever invite me to a party, I promise to let you know that I can’t make it to LA the very day I get the invite. :)

  • Lorrie Browne

    Add South Florida to the list! Send the invite 5 different ways and they will still delay or claim they never received it!

  • Darren

    And always try to avoid weekends with the “big game” if you live in a football crazy state (like Oklahoma) – otherwise you can count on lots of no shows.