CNN.com has a feature (which I assume is relatively new) where you can order t-shirts featuring some of the headlines on the front page. Just like some of their headlines have a video camera icon next to them, meaning you can watch video of the story, some of them have adorable t-shirt icons next to them, meaning you can order a t-shirt of that headline. Today, for instance, you can order one of the following hilarious headlines (watch out, Jay Leno!):
Soccer Dad Obama Gets Swatted By Wife
Ranch Salad Dressing Floods Basements
Towns Blast Fireworks From Budgets
Ok, the first one deals with Obama, an always-hip t-shirt reference, plus it hints at the wacky relationship he and his wife have (fist-bumping? Swatting? When will it end?!).
The second is certainly the most viable t-shirt slogan of the bunch, but really, who cares?
The third one has a classic news play on words that everyone seems to love to much, but is otherwise so stupid I don’t even know what to say. No, what? Otherwise so stupid? It’s stupid due in large part to the play on words.
So how does CNN.com decide which headlines to make into t-shirts? Why can’t I choose any headline on the page (I just realized I think this entire posting will be very entertaining if you imagine Andy Rooney saying it all). How about these currently posted stories:
Dead Vermont Girl’s Uncle Faces Kidnap Charges
Woman Kills Self to Avoid Nursing Home
Student Tortured, Stabbed to Death, Report Says
Now those are some t-shirts! I’ll wear anything with “report says” on it!