Blog

There has to be a better way!

Yesterday I flew on Jet Blue and saw tow notable commercials while enjoying my 36 channels of satellite television. One was for a product called FullBar. In this commercial a man who is most certainly a doctor because he is wearing scrubs, explains that the FullBar imitates the effect of gastric bypass surgery. Apparently the key to feeling full and not eating anymore is that the upper part of your stomach stretches out. When you have bypass surgery, all you have is the top part, so you feel full faster. So…why not find away to get that full feeling without surgery? Could it be possible?

Yes! Simply eat a FullBar, drink a glass of water, and wait 30 minutes before eating a meal. Your lower stomach will be substantially filled by the FullBar (and water), so your meal will make you feel fuller, faster!

That’s right, just consume a 170-calorie bar, drink 8oz of water, and wait 30 minutes!

But, specifically THIS 170-calorie bar.

I looked at the nutritional info and it is a healthy bar, but I bet that there are dozens of 170-calorie snacks you could eat with a glass of water 30 minutes before a meal, and they would fill you up too. I mean, really? With a glass of water? And waiting 30 minutes? This is basically a modern version of the tip that’s been in holiday issues of women’s magazines since the 1950’s: “Eat a snack at home before going to a Christmas party so that you can publicly look like a dainty flower who merely grazes on celery.”

The other commercial I saw was one of my new Sonic spots, which made me very self-conscious because I was afraid that the woman sitting next to me on the plane would catch me watching myself.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02160762249006189405rel=nofollow Adam875

    Not being as diligent and researchful as you, I assumed the Full Bar was some sort of sponge, and the water was required to make it puff up and fill your stomach. I hadn’t really thought about how you’d then get rid of it, so I’m glad to know it’s just, like, food. Not that I’m ever going to eat one though.

  • http://www.backtothefridge.comrel=nofollow Charlie Hills

    Would there actually be anything wrong with watching your own commercial? Did she recognize you?

    Thanks for the tip of the FullBar though. I might have to make my own blog post out of that. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03639208984906576356rel=nofollow Dave, 'LunaPierCook'

    Would a 225-lb guy have to eat two Fullbars and drink two glasses of water for the same effect as someone weighing half that? And would kids appreciate getting a Fullbar in their trick-or-treat bag? Would that be a trick or a treat?

    It may seem embarrassing to you to be watching yourself, but I think someone sitting next to you might be happy to suddenly realize it’s you sitting there. :-)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12344068760904928223rel=nofollow Bob

    Instead of a Fullbar, I usually eat something light…like, oh, a Sonic Extra-Long Chili Cheese Coney about 30 minutes before supper.

    Then I eat a full supper.

    Works for me. Screw eating less!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14623674196309969313rel=nofollow Weith Kick

    Yeah, I’ve seen that fulbar commercial too. I like your perspective on it. Before I was like, “oh, that’s so cool.” And now I’m like, “oh, that’s not cool.”

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06149994140638624902rel=nofollow Sandy

    Have you ever gone into a Sonic restaurant and ordered like a Brown Bag combo and watch the expressions of the cashier and the other customers? You’d have to be real unassuming. That should be your next commercial. It would be hillarious.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16509226547589083930rel=nofollow sannyclaus

    You won’t catch me with a Fullbar. I have been known to stop by Sonic for a Brown Bag Special and then go home and act hungry. I thought I had my habit cured and could pass up a Brown Bag Special now and then till your last commercial. Now I am off the wagon again. I need to go to Sonic ANON. I’m Sannyclaus and I am a Sonicaholic.
    Keep up the good work, I love the Stalls commercials also.

  • http://openid.aol.com/mj9kb8rel=nofollow mj9kb8

    you’re hot in those sonic commercials

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08910950030058371009rel=nofollow RestedTraveler

    I’d think drinking an 8-ounce glass of water alone would be enough to leave one feeling nearly satisfied before eating a meal. Who needs the bar?

    As for the Sonic spots, my wife and I get a kick out of them ever time! The two of you do a very convincing husband-wife routine. Those Sausage Biscuit Dippers though – I think I’ll avoid them.

  •  ThatAtlantaPerson

    Love the Sonic commercials, and just started exploring some of your SCTV stuff (oh yeah, the Wasilla Rape skit..funny and sad.) Sorry we missed your Atlanta appearance earlier in the year.
    Thanks for being available to those who enjoy your work.

  •  Clayj

    Ear-Bending Cellmate: …and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
    H.I.: You ate what?
    Ear-Bending Cellmate: We ate sand.
    [pause]
    H.I.: You ate SAND?
    Ear-Bending Cellmate: That’s right!

  •  Anonymous

    Like your hair grown out!

    Wish the Sonic commercials could turn down the dumb husband/smart wife stuff, though. It’s very off-putting and doesn’t particularly entice me to eat at Sonic. Man-bashing, even for comedy, is just as unprofessional as woman-bashing.

  •  brunot

    I find that having a glass of water and a box of Entenmans chocolate frosted donuts right before bedtime leaves me feeling satisfied and sleepy.

  • http://www.backtothefridge.comrel=nofollow Charlie Hills

    Guess what I’ve eaten two of this week? That’s right: Fullbars. Because of my reply to your post, Molly, and because I have a semi-popular blog myself, I was sent four samples of Fullbars from their PR firm.

    My foreshadowing of the future blog post may be closer to reality.

    Funny how the wheels turn.

  • http://www.alcoholian.comrel=nofollow johngl

    FUbars, Charlie, FUbars!