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TV, you’ve done it again

***Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale SPOILER ALERT***

I enjoy Grey’s Anatomy. It’s a guilty pleasure. Actually, it started as a guilty pleasure when I first bought it from itunes. Then I discovered that is was, I believe, a legitimately good show. Now it’s back to being a guilty pleasure because it has gotten g.d. ridiculous.

First problem, Meredith Grey, the title character. She may be one of the most unlikeable protagonists of any show ever. She’s whiny, emotionally retarded, and just mean. Recently she decided to go to the hospital’s therapist, but acts like every time she’s there is some kind of court-ordered appointment that got her out of jail 6 months early. She either says nothing, or argues that nothing is wrong with her. Because a lot of times what happens is that the door to a therapist’s office is marked “Women” and has a picture of a skirt-clad woman with one leg. So maybe Meredith doesn’t mean to end up in the therapist’s office. Repeatedly.

Ok, but the reason I’m writing this is specifically about the season finale. You know, the one where the boy trapped in “tons” (according to one of the doctors) is brought into the hospital on a standard gurney by 2 firefighters, and because he jumped into wet concrete to impress a girl who then ends up denying that she likes him, Dr. Torres realizes that she has the lesbian hots for Dr. Hahn (who I can’t look at without thinking of her saying “I’ve got your dog mister!”).

Alex, who is in love (?) with his ferry-boat disaster patient with a new face, continues to deny that this woman needs professional psychological help, despite the fact that she had a hysterical pregnancy, won’t eat, sits motionless in the shower, slit her wrists with a butcher knife, and as she so eloquently put it while sitting on the couch as a movie played on the TV tears rolled down her cheeks, “I think I wet my pants.” And why is Alex so intent on taking care of her himself? Because HE’S DONE IT BEFORE!!!!!!! (His emphasis) His mom was crazy and when he was a kid he took care of her. So if only he could help New Face Lady then it would make up for whatever vague thing happened to his mom and then he would be able to have normal relationships with women and yay!

Cristina Yang is still sad because her ex-fiance Preston Burke got some award and she had helped him with a lot of his surgeries when he was hiding his shaky hands and just couldn’t stop using the word “faggot.” Yang is super-driven and lacks social skills and is mean and robotic and generally an insult to ambitious, smart women.

Izzie Stevens is bored because there’s no dying patient to be in love with.

Dr. Bailey is “trying the see the big picture” and knows a lot about Star Wars. She loves monologues.

And what about Derek and Meredith? We know from the countless “scoops” from Entertainment Weekly and Inside Hollywood Access Tonight that they’re going to get back together. But how? I mean, after the 12th patient from their inject-virus-into-brain-tumor clinical trial dies (oh, but only after they successfully orchestrated the patient and another clinical trial patient having sex for the first – and last – time), and Meredith convinces the final patient (hours before their midnight deadline) to go through with the surgery, Derek is really, totally mad at her. But then they perform this consistently fatal surgery on the last girl and she lives! And Meredith and Derek run around Seattle looking for each other to celebrate. “Derek?” “Meredith?” “Where are you?” “I’m at your house, I wonder if you’re at mine. Let’s switch where we’re looking and just miss each other!” “Aren’t you glad we never bothered to charge our cell phones last night?” Or maybe Meredith left hers at home in the hubbub of cleaning up the blood from New Face’s suicide attempt, just like after her mom tried to kill herself, which we conveniently learned about in that day’s therapy session. Also, she cleaned up the blood with a sponge. That’s weird, right?

And then, Derek finds Meredith on his land – which he was prepared to sell in an effort to rid his life of all things Meredith (except working with her 70 hours a week) – where she has painstakingly set out about 200 glass jars with candles in the blueprint of the house he told her he wanted to build for them last season or whenever. Now that I think about it, when she was running around looking for him before, she was carrying a dozen Pier 1 shopping bags. So they find each other, they kiss, but Derek, being so totally McDreamy, says he has to go because he has to go break up with his nurse girlfriend Rose so that his conscience is clear. Aw! He’s so noble. McNoble.

I can’t wait for the next season to start.

  •  Dad

    What?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01615209229550317482rel=nofollow Ace

    Yeah, that’s pretty much it in a nutshell, Mols (if I may call you that).

    Oh, you forgot the whole thing about Meredith’s neurotic sister with the photographic memory discovering that O’Malley (Isaish Washington’s least favorite “faggot”) failed the intern exam by a single point.

  •  Anonymous

    I fell asleep 10 minutes into the show. You know that feeling “i will just rest my eyes while the commercial is on.” Well thats what happened to me but i didnt wake up until my wife turned to TV off when the show was finished

    Your summary was enlightening. Perhaps you could be one of the writers for the show 😉

    Erf (a friend of Absent Minded Housewife)

  • http://www.bettercomics.comrel=nofollow JE Smith

    The actress playing Meredith is just so awful. Her narration is totally flat and always sounds like she’s on ludes. I cannot watch that show.

  •  Anonymous

    Yeah, but, the Star Wars part was cool.